breathing

breathing, living, thriving

If I could pick a word to describe the past few weeks, it most certainly would not be thriving, and even living is being a bit to enthusiastic about the whole thing.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Waking up to find that the temperature has suddenly dropped 20°...

Breathes in deeply.

Waking up to find the earth covered in white powder.

Breathes in deeply. Hides under a new layer of blankets. Snuggles in closer to the cat.

It's quite odd how a select group of us can be so "connected" with the things going on in our atmosphere while everyone else seems immune to it. I used to think people who could predict the weather were a bit, well, a bit off. And now here I am with full knowledge of what's going on outside before I even peek out the window.

I love this great vastness of complete nothingness and cornfields that I call my home. However if someone offered me a one way ticket to some place warm and dry, I certainly wouldn't be arguing.

A year ago I unknowingly had my first "flare." I thought I was dying. I now understand that it is possible to feel like you're dying while still being quite alive. Some people say that pain makes them feel alive, and in that case, I feel very, very alive right now.

Breathing.

Breathing and laying still. Avoiding anything that could make the pain worse. Breathing and laughing. Breathing and crying. Because sometimes you just have to roll with it. Follow your emotions. Ride the wave to shore.

Breathing and understanding that while the changing of seasons is a beautiful thing, that for the rest of my life, it will take a great amount of patience with myself to get through it. Breathing and realizing that in order to see the vibrant flowers that i love so dearly covering the landscape, I have to first make it through today.

Taking it day by day because as my mother always tells me "the only way to eat an elephant is to take it one bite at a time." I tried looking at the big picture yesterday, and then I realized, why focus on tomorrow, when today has to be gotten through first.

So I'm sitting here. Breathing. Remaining calm. Trying to find the patience I need to handle myself for the short time I have before I crawl into my bed and try to restore my body.

Remembering that simply breathing is enough to live. That breathing will get me through. That reminding myself to breathe is the first step.

And that in a few minutes when I face the mountain in my life that most people call a staircase, that rather than wanting to cry at the thought of climbing back up it, I'll breathe.

There are constantly going to be mountains in our lives, and I'm confident that if we remind ourselves to simply breathe, we can conquer anything.

°breathe°live°thrive°